The Headline Game: headlines I'd like to see in 2016

More as I think of them, but these are a start.  In no particular order:

Clinton Indicted over email scandal, Faces 920 years confinement

Obama to resign in lieu of impeachment.

Jimmy Moeller clobbered in primary: political career thankfully over.

Democratian closes, Campbell apologizes: "We lost our way in this community and forgot our job was to report the news, not make it or try and shape it."

RTC announces I-5 Bridge replacement "to be put aside until 2 other bridges built in different locations, east of the 205 and west of the I-5 to Hillsboro."

East Bridge Construction begins.

West Bridge Bypass Construction begins

CRC contractors indicted

Tim "The Liar" Leavitt indicted for CRC conspiracy.

Rivers fails to file, will not run for reelection: "I apologize for lying to get elected on the gas tax and tab fee issue."

State Ethics recommendations to be written into law: first up, conflicts of interest require recusal when voting on legislation and judges/justices can no longer rule on cases involving campaign donors.

State Supreme Court reconsiders and throws our McCleary: acknowledges no legal grounds to order Legislature to act.

Boldt resigns over missing 2012 campaign funds: Gave himself $5000 in campaign funds while a county commissioner to repay a loan he never made to himself.

Crain destroyed in 49th District House primary: admits she was a leftist plant all along.

County Council to gut charter, go back to commissioner model and require county-wide votes for all: "Hatred is never a reason to legislate, and while legally, we can't get rid of this garbage, we can neuter it back into democracy."

County GOP sanctions Kimsey over his dishonesty on the Charter vote and use of the Voter Pamphlet as an anti-GOP position campaign piece. "That's what democrats do.  He needs to become one."

County GOP sanctions Scott Weber: "Lying to get elected is never acceptable."

County GOP sanctions Jaime Herrera: If you're going to claim to be in the GOP, you should at least, occasionally, vote like it.  Also, the idea that Herrera doesn't communicate with the people or hold open town hall meetings?  Who wants a coward representing them in Congress?"

GOP loses control over state senate: "Gee.  Maybe if we had voted like Republicans and engaged in a tad less corruption, we might have kept control over it."

Local fringe-leftist gadfly Jimmy Mains announces waves of fake Republicans running as "independents:"  "RINOs can't win any other way, so they're with me on this."

Boldt changes his mind: won't rip "In God We Trust" sign out of county council chamber.

Mariners break .500.

Vick acknowledges 2014 campaign lie: "Yeah, I claimed I was on 6 committees but that was merely eyewash to get you suckers to think I actually was working."

Boldt kicked out of PCO position:  Never showed up in 3 years he'd been a PCO.